"I Need Another Golden"

Sunny on March 12th, eight days after we brought him home

I've always said the only thing that's helped me get over the loss of a dog is knowing how many great dogs there are out there that need a loving home. Which is why we've always adopted another once we've had time to grieve.

After we lost Bandit, our 11-year-old retriever mix we found at the Montgomery County SPCA, we adopted Wyatt, a five-year-old Great Pyrenees mix, from Finding Shelter, a wonderful rescue based out of Norristown, Pa. run by the extraordinary Grace Kelly Herbert. We struggled with that one because Kobe, our golden retriever, was 12 at the time and the last thing we wanted to do was make his last years more stressful. Wyatt was gentle and kind, though, and was a great companion for Kobe for the next two-and-a-half years. He seemed to rejuvenate our aging miscreant.

When Kobe died in March 2013, we adopted Josie, a Great Pyrenees/golden retreiver mix from Finding Shelter.

Josie on her first day at our home in March 2013.

We both fell in love with her and her antics – from getting the top to our bathroom garbage can stuck on her head to unlocking our oven – kept us laughing even as we watched Wyatt’s health slowly decline. He started filling up with fluid that summer and we discovered he had inflammatory bowel disease. The vets told us 90 percent of the dogs that got it responded to treatment but Wyatt just wasn’t one of them. He’d been given up twice before we got him and he just didn’t have any fight left in him. He died in late September. I was so depressed not even Josie could cheer me up.

Then we went to a local dog event that October, where golden retrievers just seemed to be everywhere.

“I need another golden,” I heard my husband whisper under his breath, almost to himself because he honestly doesn’t remember saying that.

I was happy with a golden mix, but I understood how Sean felt. I’d grown up with German Shepherds and loved the breed. After one died, we’d wait a few weeks and get a puppy. Each breed has its unique traits and there was something comforting about getting another one of the same kind. It almost felt like you hadn’t lost the others. (When Sean and I moved in together in October 1998 we both wanted to get a dog. He wanted a black lab and I wanted a German Shepherd so we compromised and got Kobe, a golden retriever.)

So I reached out to the Delaware Valley Golden Retriever Rescue (we’d been approved as an adopter after Kobe died but put our application on hold once we got Josie) to let them know to activate our application but wanted a puppy simply because Josie is very territorial, a Great Pyrenees trait, and I’d read that even territorial dogs were good with puppies because they instinctively know to get submissive. We knew it could be a while before they found a match.

I was still grieving Wyatt in late October when an email popped into my inbox – DVGRR had four puppies (one male and three females) - if we were interested. They were from a backyard breeder, which I’ve since learned is like a puppy mill with slightly more humane conditions, who didn’t want to pay to vet them to sell them. My heart lifted.

Ryder aka Cooper in the photo that DVGRR sent to me on Oct. 24, 2013.

After talking to my husband, we decided to adopt Ryder, the boy, but changed his name to Cooper since it was just the name the rescue gave him. He and Josie were best friends from the moment they met. I captured so many of their antics on video and posted them on my social media. The laughter they brought into our lives finally helped me start healing.

Josie and Cooper November 2013

It wasn’t until Cooper died of a brain tumor last July that I finally discovered that I, too, needed another golden. They are such loveable, happy, goofy creatures they make you laugh every day. I used to say they should take golden retriever blood and use it for anti-depressants.

Cooper would jump in between us in bed in the morning and roll back and forth between us in utter joy. It was as if he was saying, “I love you” and “I love you” as he went to each of us over and over. He slept with his back pressed firmly against my legs and followed me everywhere. So it was like the light went out of our house when he died. I remember saying I couldn’t believe how much a 55-pound dog could fill up an entire house.

But this time adopting a dog was more complicated. Josie, who was now nearly 11 and had been slowing down the last couple of years, wasn’t doing very well and, once again, the last thing we wanted to do was make whatever time she had left more stressful by bringing another dog into the mix. If we did, it had to be the right dog. What that was we weren’t sure and we didn’t even sure she’d accept one if she was feeling OK.

She slowly started getting back to herself in the fall; I got her on CBD that helped her with her joint issues in December; and it seemed like she, too, was missing having another dog in the house. But what type of dog would she tolerate? Getting a puppy as a companion for an 11-year-old dog just seemed cruel - both to Josie and to the puppy who wouldn't have the playmate he needed – so that meant getting an older dog and we knew it needed to be male because female Great pyrs aren't great with other females either. And he had to be laid back and fine with Josie being the boss. We weren’t sure a golden retriever would be right for her since in some ways she’d blossomed after Cooper died and she didn’t have to compete with him for attention. She began spending more time with us, cuddling in between us on our sectional each night, which I started calling “Family Time.”

But she still loved her time alone, spending most of the day upstairs sleeping on our bed and each night roaming the house while we slept, and I realized I missed having a Velcro dog. After talking to a volunteer at the National Great Pyrenees Rescue (I briefly thought maybe Josie would like one of her own kind as a companion) it became clear to me that a golden retriever probably was best for her since they are easygoing, even-tempered dogs and wouldn’t care if she was in charge.

By then, to fill that golden-sized hole in our lives, Sean and I had begun volunteering at DVGRR after seeing their call-out for volunteers. Helping out was a great way to get our golden fix since at that point it seemed like we couldn’t have one of our own.

I still remember how shocked I was the first time I went to playtime. I thought it would be 15 minutes of ball throwing or other activities but nine out of ten dogs simply wanted to be held and hugged. Many were puppy mill survivors or retired breederd from backyard breeders and were just starved for love and attention. I realize all dogs need to be loved but for goldens denying them that is like denying them air. The only thing sadder was the skittish ones who were afraid of humans. For them to be afraid to be touched tells you what kind of abuse and mistreatment they suffered.

As I held them, tears poured down my face, both for them and for Cooper, who I still missed so much. I’ve never mourned a dog the way I mourned him. We’d also had two deaths in the family on my husband’s side last year so I think part of it was that, but I also think there was just such a void in me now without his happy-go-lucky personality that lifted my spirits on even the darkest days. I marveled at the people who adopted these puppy mill survivors. My husband had always wanted to adopt older goldens but with all the loss I experienced early on in life – and since – I wasn’t sure I could. Dogs don’t live very long as it is compared to humans and cutting our time with one in half just seemed like something I wasn’t sure I was strong enough to do. At least not until I’d healed some more.

I couldn’t believe how much had changed in the rescue world since we’d adopted Cooper in 2013. Back then, rescues were bringing dogs up from the south, where a lot of people don’t spay and neuter their dogs and the shelters are mostly kill shelters. (Josie and Wyatt came from an SPCA in western Kentucky.) Now, though, many are literally rescuing retired breeders from puppy mills and backyard breeders. I say literally because they are saving their lives. In most cases, the breeders will kill them with a bullet to the head if the rescues don’t take them in.

Sunny was one of those dogs.

Sunny after he arrived at DVGRR on January 19, 2023

DVGRR picked him and another female up on January 19, 2023, from a local woman whose friends drop off retired breeders for them there. He needed to be examined by a vet and neutered so he wasn’t going to be available for adoption for a few weeks.

In February, still on the fence, we decided to apply just so our application would be ready once we made up our minds. And, honestly, after seeing how many wonderful dogs out there need homes we had to at least try to take one to see if it would work for us. Our reasons for not doing so just seemed weak.

We asked for a male dog around four years old because the lifespan of these dogs just isn't very long these days but then Zack, the adoption manager, told us about Sunny, a seven-year-old retired breeder from a backyard breeder. We don't know much more about his background other than that he likely had some contact with the family that bred him because he’s not scared of humans. John Plummer, the head of DVGRR, picked him and a female up and named them Sonny and Cher (Sadly, many of these dogs don't even have names.)

We fell in love with Sunny the first time we met him and decided to introduce Josie to him. We needed to make sure it was the right move for her. First, we took her to the rescue to meet him and, remarkably, she had no issues with him. Still, we decided to foster to adopt first in case it wasn’t a good fit for one or both of them.

We brought him home on March 4th. He was clingy like so many of the dogs I met at playtime, but the rescue said that would get better with time. And it has. I was astonished, though, at all he didn't know how to do. It was like having a 7-year-old puppy. And an 84-pound one at that.

He had never been inside a home. Stairs were new to him. Seeing his reflection in the mirror in the bathroom was new – he actually hopped up on his hind paws to get a better look. The television was new. He heard dogs bark on there and ran to the window to see where they are outside or searched inside the living room for them. Loud noises scared him. He didn't know how to eat dog food out of a bowl so I started feeding him by hand. He wasn’t house-trained, though he quickly learned with only a couple of accidents. He didn’t know how to play - either with other dogs or toys – or even chew on a bone or a Kong filled with peanut butter. (He’s since learned the latter.) When things he eats don’t agree with him, he rushes outside and furiously chews grass (this was really fun at 1:30 in the morning.)

He froze when you put him on the couch or our bed, though he really wanted to get up there. When he slept, he kept waking up, looking startled and frightened until I comforted him. DVGRR does detailed behavioral assessments - among the many other things they do including medical care - and he'd shown no signs of separation anxiety but when we tried to leave him alone (taking Josie with us until we're comfortable with them being alone together) while keeping an eye on him with the pet cam we bought he panicked and somehow threw himself through the cat door to our basement (thankfully he wriggled around and got through so he didn’t get stuck) so we stayed close to home for a few weeks after that. It’s understandable he didn’t exhibit any signs at the rescue (and I think it’s actually more “isolation distress” than separation anxiety, as this article explained.) He lived in a kennel for the first seven years of his life so I’m guessing his accommodations at DVGRR felt very familiar.

But slowly that wonderful, goofy golden personality is emerging. He stole one of my shoes from Day One - and has been doing it every day since. He rolled on his back down the hill in back of our home with Sean that first week. He chased a tennis ball, though he seems more interested in just bringing it back to you. He's entranced by the river near our home and loves splashing around in it at the boat launch near our home. I can’t wait until he sees our pool after we open it in mid-May.

As for Josie, we’ve been showering her with extra love and attention to help with the transition, and she slowly started to come around so two weeks after we brought him home we made his adoption official. We're keeping his name but changing the spelling to Sunny (I just can't look at our dog and think of Sonny Bono lol). But seriously, it suits him. He has a wonderful, warm, sunny personality. Plus, on our way home from picking him up, Sean started singing this song:

Sunny, yesterday my life was filled with rain

Sunny, you smiled at me and really eased the pain

The dark days are gone

And the bright days are here

My Sunny one shines so sincere

Sunny one so true, I love you

Those lyrics perfectly describe how we're feeling. He's certainly brought the sunshine back into our lives.

I admit it's tough adopting a seven-year-old dog when you've just lost an eight-year-old one, but whatever time we have with him we'll cherish it. After all, these older dogs need to be loved too.

And, honestly, none of us knows how much time we have. All we can do is enjoy today. It's a life philosophy I'm truly trying to embrace.

I’m so grateful to DVGRR for bringing him into our lives and in awe of the work they and rescues like Finding Shelter do every day. During the pandemic, everyone wanted a dog so the puppy mills and backyard breeders amped up their production to meet the demand. Now that it’s slowing down, they are getting rid of the puppies they can’t sell and the ones they used to breed. When it comes to the adults, the pupppy mills are mostly giving up the females because they have so many of them and use one or two males to impregnate all of their females.

DVGRR is doing the best it can to find them homes but still has a waiting list of ones who need to come into their shelter. It’s an incredible amount of pressure to work under and I just hope more people will consider adopting from rescues like theirs, Finding Shelter and the National Great Pyrenees Rescue or at least donating to help pay for the astronomical medical bills they incur trying to get the dogs and puppies healthy enough to adopt out.

Adopting a dog who spent the first seven years of his life in a kennel breeding puppy after puppy instead of as a house pet is a new experience for us and one I must admit I’ve been more than a little nervous about. I’ve been reading everything I can, getting guidance from the pros at DVGRR who understand the unique needs of these dogs – with an assist from the wonderful National Great Pyrenees Rescue, where we’d been approved as a foster family, who understand the breed better than anyone and helped address my concerns about introducing a new dog to Josie - but after meeting so many of them I knew it was something we had to do.

I realize adopting one dog doesn’t make a dent in the problem at hand, which is why we still plan to volunteer, but I hope writing about our experience will help convince others to give it a try as well.

I’ve wanted to write about the atrocities of puppy mills for years, hoping that focusing media attention on what’s going on there would enact some change but there just doesn’t seem to be much interest out there in the subject.

So, instead, I’ll write about it here when I feel the urge. I know I’ve spent a lot of time reading articles and emailing to get answers to my questions so I hope this helps someone else out there get the information they need.